The Worst Fanfiction EVER!
by Wolf VS Slothy. FEEL THE WRATH
Summary: This is a series of parodies on what three certain people think make horrible fanfics. Prepare to puke because of inconsistent plots, twoday romances, and more! Meant for humourous purposes only.
1. The New Girl

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**THE WORST FANFIC EVER!**

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NOTE: We sincerly apologize if you or someone you know writes in a way that is portrayed in any of these short fanfictions. We aren't actually directing these stories at anyone, and they aren't meant to be offensive. 

This is what we, personally, don't like about fanfictions, but it's just our oppinion.

Though we lovingly accept flames, if you flame us saying you are offended, and that you or someone you know writes in this way, we will have one of out expert debaters counter-flame you because we have already stated there is no offence meant.

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Summary: This is our first little story. It is a mockery of horribly fast relationships in a high school setting; in which the characters fall in love ludicrously fast with little detail and the plot makes little sense. 

**ENJOY!** …Actually, be incredibly annoyed by the dumbness of this story.

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**THE NEW GIRL**

**Written by Takai and Syd, (ideas added by Luke)**

It was the second week of school and the beginning of the day. Inu-Yasha was taking stuff out of his locker for his first class.

Inu-Yasha was looking hot. He was wearing a white muscle shirt, which his muscular body was easily seen through. He was also wearing dark denim jeans with a studded belt. (A/N: Isn't he cool?) He was wearing black leather boots. (A/N: Ooooh, so sexy!)

He had all his classes with Miroku and Sango.

Miroku walked up behind him and slapped him on the back.

Miroku was looking hot. He was wearing a black muscle shirt, which his muscular body was easily seen through. He was also wearing dark denim jeans with a studded belt. He was wearing a pair of white Nike Air Max Solas running shoes. (A/N: Oooh, so sexy!)

"Hello my dear buddy Inu-Yasha, the most popular guy in school," he said.

"Yo Miroku," Inu-Yasha replied, "The most perverted ass I know and the second most popular guy in school."

Miroku grinned proudly and laughed like a fool who had been inhaling some sort of plant dust. (A/N: OMG, IS MIROKU ON DRUGS?) Sango came up behind him, kicked him in the ass so that he was sent face first into a locker, and then walked away.

Sango was looking hot. She was wearing a red tank top that left her flat stomach exposed. She was also wearing black cargo Capri's and beige sandals. She was wearing a little bit of foundation and a pinkish eye shadow that extenuated her beautiful mahogany eyes.

Inu-Yasha pointed and laughed at Miroku.

"Oh well," Miroku said, "It's okay. I have loved Sango since I fist laid eyes on that beauty five days ago." (A/N: AW, KAWAII!)

"Yes, Sango is a beauty," Inu-Yasha agreed.

Miroku elbowed Inu-Yasha in the ribs.

"How does the most popular guy in school not have a girlfriend?" he asked.

"I honestly do not know," Inu-Yasha said, "But I don't really want one. They are annoying and they swarm me too much. They can go get some other guy to be their boyfriend."

Miroku nodded and then grinned.

"Have you heard of that new girl?" he asked, "She's supposed to be very beautiful."

"You say every female is very beautiful," Inu-Yasha said, rolling his eyes.

"But it is true!" Miroku said, "But the new girl… She is supposed to have a perfect complexion and be the most beautiful in the city of Tokyo, which we live in!"

"Oh wow!" said Inu-Yasha, "Maybe I should meet her!"

"She is also supposed to have the slimmest waste around!"

"Even slimmer than Kikyo, the school slut who I used to I used to date, but then dumped because I thought I was too good for her and she started doing drugs afterwards because she got depressed and is now anorexic?" asked Inu-Yasha. (A/N: Good for you Inu-kun! She's a stupid slut!)

"Yes," Miroku replied.

"Oh wow!" said Inu-Yasha.

Suddenly, the bell rang!

"OH MY GOD, WE ARE LATE FOR CLASS!" Inu-Yasha said calmly.

Him and Miroku ran off to get to class on time.

MEANWHILE…

Kagome, the new girl, was sad and alone, trying to find her way to class. She was new, so she had no friends and nobody to show her the way to class.

Kagome was looking hot. She was wearing a pink tank top that showed off her perfectly flat stomach and perfectly sculpted abdominal muscles, despite the fact that she had never worked out a day in her life and was a lazy ass.

She was also wearing bright blue cargo Capri's and black sandals.

Her beautiful ebony tresses were done up in a messy bun with a few locks hanging down to frame her face.

She wasn't wearing any make up because she thought it took away from her inner beauty.

Suddenly, she entered a secluded locker bay.

"Oh no, I am not supposed to be in here," she said to herself, because there was no one else to point that out to.

Suddenly, Koga, the normally nice but slightly possessive kid of the school, jumped out of a locker with a roar. (A/N: OMG, IT'S KOGA!)

Koga was looking hot. He was wearing a white muscle shirt and khaki pants with a black belt. He was wearing a pair of Nike Air Zoom Elite 2 running shoes and had his hair up in a high pony-tail and was wearing a brown headband. (A/N: OMG! Koga is sexy!)

He pinned Kagome to the floor, a look of lust in his perfect sapphire eyes.

_Wow she's hot, I just wanna rape her_, he thought.

So then, Koga proceeded to try to undress Kagome, who was screaming and hitting him.

"Who are you? What are you doing to me?" she asked calmly.

"Shut up, wench!" he said, smacking her across her the face.

"Oh my God!" she cried as she realized that Koga was going to rape her, "Stop Koga! Please don't rape me!"

"Too bad wench, I've desired you for too long now, despite the fact that I have never met you before!" he exclaimed.

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

MEANWHILE…

Kagome's scream echoed throughout the school and to Inu-Yasha, and Inu-Yasha heard it. He was almost at his class, but he decided to do something nice for someone else and help the girl in distress. (A/N: YAY, INU-KUN TO THE RESCUE!)

He ran to the secluded locker bay. He saw Koga on top of the most beautiful girl he had ever seen.

"Stop raping her Koga!" he yelled, "It's not your style."

Koga looked up.

"Oh, okay," he said, and he got up and walked away.

Inu-Yasha walked over to Kagome and offered her his hand.

"Are you okay Kagome?" he asked.

"I think so Inu-Yasha," she said, "Thanks for saving me."

"I've gotta run to class! Don't get raped!" he said, and then ran back to his class.

Kagome watched him go in awe. He seemed so chivalrous as he ran off into the sunset, which she was imagining him running off into.

"I think I'm in love," she said dreamily. (A/N: Awww! They were meant to be!)

"Good for you Kagome," Koga said patting her happily on the head, "I'll see you in chess club."

"Bye Koga!" Kagome said with a huge smile, "Wow, I think I have a new best friend!"

Koga smiled and walked away down the hall and out of earshot.

"Wow, Inu-Yasha is so handsome," Kagome sighed.

"Yes, I agree," said Koga before walking away.

Suddenly, Kagome jumped to her feet.

"Oh my God, I have to get to class!" she exclaimed.

She ran off down the hall and was nearly raped by Onigumo, but then Koga saved her. (A/N: GO KOGA! WOO!)

She finally got to class, looking a bit disheveled. Her teacher sat her beside a girl named Bacon and a boy named Francis. (A/N: OMG! I love those names! That's what I'm gonna name my kids!)

"Hi Kagome, I'm Bacon," said Bacon.

"Nice to meet you Bacon."

"Hi Kagome, my name is Francis," said Francis.

"Nice to meet you too Francis."

"We're dating," they both said at once.

"That's nice to know, Bacon and Francis. I hope you're happy together."

Suddenly, Kagome was called down to the office, so she left the class and went to the office.

When she got there, she saw Inu-Yasha sitting there too. (A/N: YAY!)

"Hello," she said.

"Hey babe," he replied with a big smile.

She giggled and sat beside him.

"What are you doing here?" asked Kagome.

"I don't know," said Inu-Yasha, "I was just called here."

"Me too," Kagome said.

Then, Naraku, the lovable principal, walked into the room. (A/N: I AM IN LOVE WITH NARAKU, THAT IS WHY I MADE HIM A GOOD GUY! He is just misunderstood, the poor thing.)

"Okay, Inu-Yasha, you are going to have to show Kagome around the school," he said.

"Okay," Inu-Yasha said, holding Kagome's hand. (A/N: OMG, KAWAII!)

Kagome blushed and giggled.

Then Inu-Yasha showed Kagome around the school.

He couldn't stop staring at her.

Miroku had been right; Kagome was beautiful. She had a perfect slim complexion and skin that was like both fine ivory and silk at the same time. Her raven locks were flecked with every colour when she walked into the light.

_I'm in love…_ Inu-Yasha thought. (A/N: Aww!)

_I'm in love,_ Kagome thought. (A/N: Awww!)

As they came to a tree, Inu-Yasha tightened his hold on Kagome's hand and stared into her hazel eyes.

"Oh Kagome…" he said.

"Oh Inu-Yasha…" she said, "I love you."

"I love you too!" he replied, and then drew her towards him for a passionate kiss. (A/N: OMG! SO KAWAII! Don't you just LOVE romance?)

THREE DAYS LATER!

Kagome and Inu-Yasha were dating. They had made out over thirty times since Monday, and Kagome had been nearly raped five times.

"Oh Kagome, I love you so much!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed.

"I love you so much too!" Kagome replied.

Just then, Sessho-Maru appeared and pointed a big knife at Inu-Yasha. (A/N:OMG! SESSHIE!)

"Oh no!" Inu-Yasha gasped, "It's my older brother, the hockey player, who wants me dead for some reason!"

"Prepare to die little brother," Sessho-Maru said, "For I desire that woman you have in your possession."

"No way!" Kagome said, "I could never love you! You just want me because of my looks! Well, I want someone who loves me for ME! Like Inu-Yasha does!"

"Of course I do!" Inu-Yasha said, kissing her.

Sessho-Maru pointed his big knife at Inu-Yasha.

"Well, too bad, I'm going to kill you anyway and then rape her! Hah!"

With that, Inu-Yasha and Sessho-Maru got into a big fight. (A/N: OMG!)

Inu-Yasha won when he punched Sessho-Maru in the nose and blood gushed everywhere.

Kagome was crying; she had been so scared that she would lose Inu-Yasha!

"Don't worry Kagome, I'm fine!" he said, and then the two of them began to make out on the floor again, him feeling her up as she felt him up too.

Sessho-Maru was dead on the ground beside them.

"Kagome," Inu-Yasha said as he pulled back from her, "I love you so much! Will you marry me?"

"Of course I will!" Kagome exclaimed, "But I have to tell you something."

She suddenly had tears in her eyes.

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh, Kagome, that's wonderful!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed, "How did it happen?"

"I don't know!" Kagome said, "I haven't even had freaky sex with you yet!"

"Hmm… You're right… That's not until next Friday," Inu-Yasha said, "Oh well."

Just then, Sessho-Maru reappeared.

"You are both idiots," he said, "Inu-Yasha, you suck, you smell, and I hate you. I will destroy you just so you will never be happy!" (A/N: OMFG!)

"Fine!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

He pulled out his big sword and fought with Sessho-Maru.

Sessho-Maru and Inu-Yasha punched each other in the face a few times. Just then, a bunch of Ninjas dropped from the ceiling.

"My Ninjas will destroy you!" shouted Onigumo.

The Ninjas hopped around like a bunch of toads on crack (A/N: DRUGS!) and then kidnapped Kagome and took her to their lair of doom.

"NO! Kagome!" Inu-Yasha yelled.

Onigumo disappeared in a puff of dirt.

"Don't worry Inu-Yasha, I will help you rescue her," Sessho-Maru said.

"Thanks Nii-san, I love you!" Inu-Yasha said, "but I will defeat you one day!"

Then, Inu-Yasha, Sessho-Maru and Sango all ran off to Onigumo's evil Ninja lair.

"You won't get away with this!" shouted Shippo. (A/N: KAWAII!)

He jumped around and tried to hit a ninja with a hammer, but he missed. Kagome had been raped and was unconscious.

Inu-Yasha pulled out his big sword.

"I'll kill you for raping Kagome!" he yelled.

Onigumo laughed and danced around like a monkey on crack (A/N: DRUGS!). Then, he and Inu-Yasha and Sango all got in a big fight. Sango used a revolver to shoot Onigumo.

Onigumo's blood went everywhere and he died.

"INU-YASHA HELP ME!" Kagome yelled.

"You will never save her!" Onigumo cried.

Too late!

Inu-Yasha grabbed Kagome and saved her and ran back to the school! (A/N: YAY! Inu-Kun the hero!)

TWO DAYS LATER

Kagome went to school. She was very sad because she got raped. She needed to go make out with Inu-Yasha to make her feel better.

All of a sudden, she saw Inu-Yasha and Kikyo. (A/N: Stupid slut…)

Kikyo was on one side of the hall and Inu-Yasha was on the other.

"Hey Kikyo?" he asked, "Can I borrow a pencil for a second?"

"Sure," she replied, and gave him a pencil.

"Thanks."

Kagome gasped.

_Oh no! He must still be in love with Kikyo! My life is over!_

Kagome ran away, not able to listen any longer. He was two-timing her!

She ran home crying and began to cut herself like a girl whose boyfriend was two-timing her.

Suddenly, Naraku the lovable principal appeared.

"Hello!" he said, "Kagome, you are stupid. Inu-Yasha will always love you! He would never two-time you with that slut Kikyo."

"You're right!" Kagome said, "I need to go see him!"

So Kagome ran to Inu-Yasha's house.

"Hi Kagome," he said.

"Inu-Yasha, I love you!" she said, and then they made out passionately on the ground again.

TWO MORE DAYS LATER!

Kagome's body was bloated with babies and Inu-Yasha was ecstatic about being a father.

"Oh Inu-Yasha," Kagome whimpered, tears in her eyes, "You must not want me anymore now that I'm so fat!"

"Nonsense!" Inu-Yasha said gently, "It just makes me love you more to see your stomach swollen with my kids."

Then they kissed for five minutes.

So she and Inu-Yasha got married, had sixteen kids with weird names and lived happily ever after.

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**A/N: Heh, bad enough for you yet? Don't puke now, there's more to come!**

**(Note that the author's notes previous to this one don't actually show the opinion of the authors)**

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	2. The Adventures Of JennyFrancis

**THE WORST FANFIC EVER!**

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Summary: This is just a random, really bad fanfic that we wrote because… Uh… We felt like it.

This is our REALLY pathetic Mary-Sue fic… We'll do a better one later. Or should we say, WORSE!

Meh…

Oh, by the way (A/N) is random author's notes that are sometimes posted inside fics. We put them in ours to increase the annoyingness. (R/A/N)s are our actual thoughts

**LET THE CRAP COMMENCE!**

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THE ADVENTURES OF JENNY-FRANCIS**

**Written by Takai and Syd (edited by Luke)**

It was a beautiful day in Feudal Japan. Too bad a fight was in progress.

"I wanna go back to my time, Inu-Yasha! This means a lot to me!" Kagome shrieked like a stuck pig.

o

Kagome was looking hot. She was wearing her normal, schoolgirl uniform, which seemed very attractive to most people. The long, puffed sleeved sailor top showed off her ample bosom and slim figure. Her skirt showed off her wonderfully slim, long, tanned legs.

o

"But we need you here!" Inu-Yasha exclaimed.

o

Inu-Yasha was looking hot. He was wearing his fire rat kimono, as usual.Despite his usual attire, Kagome was being weird by picturing him in tight, black leather pants and shirtless. (A/N: OMG! .:drool:. He should wear that in the show! Have you noticed that Inu has those huge pants? My friend and I were talking about his poofy pants. She says that he needs new pants, but I say he needs his pants because he might fall off a cliff and they'll puff out and make him fall slower. I change my mind, Inu needs leather pants.)

o

"Why? As a jewel detector?" Kagome asked.

"No, I mean I need you here!" Inu-Yasha said.

"Why?"

"Because I love you!"

"I don't believe you," Kagome said indignantly, "You love Kikyo! You just want me to stay!"

Inu-Yasha stared at her, his eyes becoming wide and his lip visibly quivering.

"I knew this would happen!" he exclaimed, "I knew you'd reject me! Just like everyone else; cuz I'm hanyou!"

He put a hand over his tear-filled eyes and turned to walk away, sniffling softly and trembling.

Kagome stared after the hanyou, blinking with surprise.

_Wow, maybe he actually meant it, _she thought, and then shook her head, _Nah… It must all be an act…_

_o_

But in fact, today was a special day for Kagome. Her favourite cousin, Jenny-Francis from Korea (A/N: OMG! I love the name Jenny-Francis! I shall name all of my children that! Even the boys! Nya ha ha!), was coming to visit her.

Jenny-Francis knew all about the Feudal Era because she and Kagome were very, very close… Not location wise, but friendship wise! (A/N: Yay! Kagome has a friend!)

She jumped back through the well, ignoring Inu-Yasha's pained howls of angst and despair in the distance, and she became very happy as she saw Jenny-Francis's car in the driveway.

Squealing with girlyness, she rushed into the house.

o

Jenny-Francis was looking hot. She wore a mini jean skirt that showed off her perfectly slim, long, tanned legs. She wore a white tank top with a belly cut that showed off her perfectly flat midriff with a belly button piercing (A/N: OMG! SO COOL!). She had a perfectly sculpted face and golden earrings all along one ear.

She had waist length, ebony tresses, with silver streaks. Her hair both looked and felt like silk.

She had bright blue eyes, as blue and sparkling and mysterious as the ocean itself. They even seemed to be swimming with silver fish, but in fact, it was laughter and love swimming in her eyes.

o

"Jenny-Francis!" Kagome exclaimed.

"Yay! Kagome!" Jenny-Francis said in her beautiful, angel-like voice, "I missed you!"

They hugged.

"You need to come back to the Feudal Era with me!" Kagome said giddily.

"I really want to meet Inu-Yasha," Jenny-Francis said, "He sounds like a hunk, who is terribly in love with you!"

"Bah!" Kagome snorted like a goat on drugs, "He said he did, but I think he was lying because I'm just a jewel detector to him."

"That can't be true!" Jenny-Francis exclaimed, "From what I know with my expertise (R/A/N: Which remains oddly unexplained), inu youkai only mate for life, so he would not be just saying that for fun!"

"Oh no!" Kagome said, suddenly feeling like she was a bitch, "He wa crying when I left!"

"I bet you broke the poor guy's already extremely fragile heart," Jenny-Francis said.

"I have to go and find him!" Kagome said.

o

Two days later, she and Jenny-Francis went down the well to find Inu-Yasha.

"Kagome, where have you been?" Shippo said, "You bum, Inu-Yasha's been so depressed! You broke his fragile heart! Now he is fighting Naraku and he's not even trying…"

He paused.

"Hello Jenny-Francis," he said.

"Bonjour," said Jenny-Francis, "But oh no! We must save poor little Inu-Yasha! His fragile heart has been broken! He may be trying to commit suicide!"

"Oh my gosh!" Kagome squeaked, "I must save Inu-Yasha, who is my one true love, yet I didn't notice until now!"

So they all ran off to save Inu-Yasha.

"We'll never make it on time!" Kagome yelled.

"Yes we will!" said Jenny-Francis, "For I shall use the Clow Cards!"

"Yay!" exclaimed everyone.

"Why didn't you tell me you have all-powerful magical powers?" Kagome asked.

"I was afraid you'd reject me," said poor Jenny-Francis.

"Aw!" said Kagome, "I would never do that! You are like my sister who is not an annoying ass!"

"Awww…" Cooed Shippo from the distance.

So, Jenny-Francis pulled out the Dash Card, and they all ran at super speed to save Inu-Yasha! Yay!

o

Inu-Yasha teared up as he saw Kagome come running, along with some random other girl and Shippo.

Naraku, whom he was fighting, stopped and gawked at the girl beside Kagome,

_She is so beautiful…_ he thought, _I suddenly do not want to be evil anymore!_

He pulled his tentacle out of Inu-Yasha's stomach and pranced around.

"Stay away from Jenny-Francis, Naraku!" Kagome yelled.

"I can't!" he exclaimed, "I think I am in love!"

"Me too!" Jenny-Francis said, and she rushed to Naraku's awaiting arms and kissed him passionately.

"Wow, that was unexpected and totally unnecessary," a random ookami youkai by the name of Takai said while shielding her eyes as the two fell to the ground and began to undress each other, "Oh God… It burns!"

"Aw, that's so cute!" Kagome said, and then rushed to the snivelling, teary-eyed hanyou, hugged him, and kissed him, "I'm so sorry Inu-Yasha! I love you too! I just thought you were joking!"

"Oh, Kagome!" he said happily, "I forgive you! Will you be my mate!"

"YES!" Kagome cried.

"Okay," Inu-Yasha said sensually, and he began to undress her.

"No, not here!" she said, "Somewhere more private… In a tree!"

"Okay!" Inu-Yasha said, and the two walked away hand in hand to have sex, and leaving behind Jenny-Francis and Naraku, who were having freaky monkey sex on the ground.

o

One day, all the friends were travelling, but suddenly, a random bandit jumped out of a bush.

"Give me all your valuables and women!" he exclaimed, brandishing his sword.

"Oh no! We're doomed!" Kagome yelled.

"I'll take care of this!" Inu-Yasha yelled, but as he rushed forward, he was hit on the head and promptly rendered unconscious.

The same thing happened to Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Naraku, and Kirara until only Kagome and Jenny-Francis were left.

"What do we do?" Kagome wailed in terror.

Suddenly, the man lunged at Jenny-Francis.

She squealed, and stuck out her hand, and a bunch of fire spurted from her hand. Then, she swiftly figured out she could control it, and she made it burn the human.

By the time everyone else came back into consciousness, Jenny-Francis had discovered that she was actually an all-powerful, fire-controlling youkai that had been under a concealing spell her whole life, but coming into the Feudal Era had reversed it.

"We're all so happy!" Naraku cheered, hugging Jenny-Francis.

Everyone nodded their agreement, and Kagome told Inu-Yasha to sit for not nodding soon enough because he was trying to help Sango because she had broken her leg.

Then, Kikyo appeared.

"Inu-Yasha, can we go to hell now?" she asked.

"Nah, I'm staying here with my love, Kagome," he said.

"Aw…" Kikyo whined, "Oh well, I think I'll go drag your brother's little servant Jaken down instead. I don't want to be lonely."

"Have fun!" Naraku said, and he hugged Kikyo goodbye as if they were best friends.

o

Two months later, both Jenny-Francis and Kagome were pregnant.

"I can hear the pups!" Naraku squealed, clapping his hands together.

"Isn't it great that we're all friends now, and you took off Miroku's curse and revived Sango's brother?" Inu-Yasha said.

A series of ho-hums and indeeds were heard from around the fire.

"And isn't it so cool that Jenny-Francis was actually a youkai goddess in disguise?" Kagome squealed like a stuck pig.

A series of ho-hums and indeeds were heard from around the fire.

"And isn't it awesome that this Naraku revived both Shippo and Inu-Yasha's parents?" asked Naraku.

"I'm so happy!" Jenny-Francis said.

"So am I," Inu-Yasha's mother, Sally, said.

"Yay! Mommy!" Inu-Yasha squeaked, and he hugged his mother.

Suddenly, both Kagome and Jenny-Francis went into labour.

A series of ho-hums and indeeds were heard from around the fire.

Both girls had beautiful babies, and they lived happily ever after in the feudal era with their husbands! (A/N: Awww! So romantic!)

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**(R/A/N: My God... It pains me to write this stuff, you know that? IT BURNS, I TELLS YA! You'd better appreciate this…)**

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